Category Archives: Lifestyle

Graduation SZN: 3 Things To Know About Post-Grad Life

First, congratulations to the graduating class of 2017, you did it, you did it!

Still waiting on my Hogwarts invitation…I’m 27 now…

College is a BIG DEAL. Not to rain on anyone’s parade but pretty soon you’re going to get a rude awakening, a wake-up call from this thing called life a.k.a adulting.

YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE! So, you’re going to have to learn how to sizzle. What I mean is, embrace the process and be patient with yourself. Create a hit list of dream jobs and go get ’em!

Attaining a college degree and consistently showing up to class for participation points was only the beginning of the battle. Now, you’re going to have to work hard for your money! Since you’re not going to have 5-7 yrs experience, you’ll soon realize MOST if not ALL, jobs you apply to (or want to apply to) either want 3-5 years experience or 7-10 years, so unless you’ve been working since childbirth, you don’t have that extensive of a career life span, yet; so you know what that means? YOU GUESSED IT:

You’re going to have to grind it out and hustle! Here are a few things you should know about what to expect post-grad and just to remember in general:

1.STAY HUNGRY, STAY HUMBLE!
You’re going to have to show employers you’re hungry to learn and eager for more food by showing them WHY you deserve a seat at that table. What do I mean? What I mean is this; you’ve done the academic part, you’ve secured a degree that allows you to pull up a chair to the table, but it doesn’t necessarily show employers why they should hire you or why they should feed you*!


Often times, employers seek out fresh talents with interesting perspectives, although they’re willing to take a chance on you, you’re going to have to consistently work you’re a** off to show, you’re not just some know-it-all, entitled “millennial;” you’re actually a hard worker. Since you don’t have any experience you’re going to get stuck doing ALOT of the work NOBODY wants to do, you’re going to feel like you’re on an endless road of paying your dues and questioning all of your life choices. You may have to take a job where you’re barely making $40,000 a year. It’s not going to be fun or even glamorous no matter who you end of working for. Just giving you the trill spill; You’re very “green”, a.k.a beginner status a.k.a super entry level. Be prepared to suck up your pride just to build some clout on your resumé. After about a year or two in, you’ll see your supervisor and colleagues will begin to take you more seriously which shows them, you’re consistent, humble and always hungry. You’ll always have a place mat and food at the table.

2. SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT.
Unless you have unlimited PTO (which some people do have) you’re going to have to show up EVERYDAY. At least, if you’re willing to do your best and stand out from the rest to be that rockstar employee. When undergrads ask me, do I miss college, or what’s one thing I miss about the experience…you know what I tell them? I get it REAL! I tell them the truth!

Just like I’m telling you NOW, if I was sick, or stayed out too late the night before class, or just didn’t want to go because I’d rather hang out with my friends in class, I COULD! That’s what college teaches us, showing up is 80% of success. If you skip class, you can take a nap or go do your own thing. Unfortunately, in the real world, life doesn’t work like that. You’re not striving for As or Bs, you’re praying you’ve got enough money in the bank to pay your bills and maybe treat yourself to some Chiptole. Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready! You’re going to want to not get up at 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. or 8 a.m., you’re going to hit the snooze button ALOT of times and dread your morning commutes. But as SOON as you begin your day, be prepared to always do your best.

3.DON’T PLAY YOURSELF! Get as much experience as possible. Possibilities are ENDLESS.
Contrary to popular belief, you absolutely do not have to restrict your awesomeness by only applying to jobs within your field. The first step in applying for most jobs is that fact, that you, in fact, have a piece of paper on it that says you’ve secured your degree. You have a bachelor of whatever and that’s the first key to getting in the door.  Just promise me, you won’t get comfortable or get lazy. You have to remember to remain challenged if you’re bored as for more work. You never want to feel stagnant in your career because one day you’ll wake up wondering why you never chased your dreams and look at yourself, like congratulations, you played yourself!

Apply to any and every job you THINK you may be interested in. In college, we have this crazy vision that we have our entire lives mapped out and know exactly what we’re going to be doing, perhaps some of us do. But if you’re like me, life doesn’t go according to plan and you’re going to have to roll with the punches.

My very first boss after graduating from college told me this, What you’re doing today, isn’t what you’re going to be doing in 5 or 10 years. Heck, you might not even be doing this in 1-2 years from now.

I didn’t understand what he meant back then. It was so hard to find a job where I could see myself that I was putting so much pressure on myself to make the right decision in where I would work next. But here’s the sad truth, as a new graduate you CAN’T afford to be picky unless you’re some golden child and you CAN’T afford to skip out on something that could be an amazing opportunity. Don’t pressure yourself out of your blessings, follow your intuition and chase your dreams!

YOUNG T-BABY BLACK GRAD. #SJSU. 2014.

The Art of Approaching a Man

Guest Blogger, Kimberly Gedeon of The Melody Of Melanin gives us The Art of Approaching a Man, read more to find out how to secure your BAE!

The very thought of approaching a man sends a spine-tingling chill down many women’s backs.

WOMAN UP!

“What if he rejects me?” 

“It’s so unladylike!”

“What if he isn’t receptive to me taking the lead?”

These are all valid concerns if you ask me. Rejection is a cruel blow to the ego and it’s often uncomfortable to step outside of our pretty-in-pink feminine shell. But what if I told you that you can be “the approacher” and manipulate the situation so that he’s still “the hunter”?

If you visualize the “approach” as some alpha female pushing herself up against a guy and demanding his number …

You’d be very wrong! There’s a sort of … finesse required, a little “seduction” and “craftiness,” if you will.

That’s why I call it, “The Art of Approaching a Man.”

Step One: Identify Your Target’s Social Setting

Before you do ANYTHING, you’ve got to figure out who this man is rollin’ with. Is he with a woman? Is he alone? Is he with a group?

If he is with a woman or a group of women, ABORT, ABORT! Yes, it’s true they may just be friends, but you don’t know for sure – best to be safe than sorry.

If he’s in a group – perhaps dilly dallying around town with his dude friends – it’s not the most ideal setting, but still feasible to get him in the palm of your hands.

And if he’s alone, perfect!

So if you’re man is rollin’ solo or grouped up with the guys, you’re good to go to the next step.

Step Two: Scan Your Surroundings

This is very important. How you approach your target will be contingent on your surroundings – you will be using it to your advantage.

For example, if he’s at a bar with friends, is there an empty stool next to him just begging for you sit on it?

Is he alone at a café, staring through the sneeze guard, wondering which tasty treat he should get with his latté?

Keep an eye out for these environmental cues – they are important because they’ll tell you how to approach your target.

For example, you can cozy up to that stool and pretend you’re getting yourself a drink:

Thirsty?

And you can shuffle up next to him and pose as if you’re having a hard time choosing a dessert as well:

Potential Bae Alert

See where I’m going with this? You need to visually scope your surroundings so that you know where to “place yourself” before you approach him.

Step Three: Wait for the Right Timing

You know what time it is!

Now that you’ve already mapped out the environment, as they always say, there’s a time and place for everything.

Choosing the right time is particularly crucial if your target is part of a group. You definitely don’t want to go for the kill when he’s in an intense, passionate conversation with one of his buddies. Trust me. He doesn’t want anyone tapping his shoulders while he’s trying to get his point across.

And if he’s at a bar watching a game – no. Okay? No! All he’s going to be thinking is how much he doesn’t want a pest like you in his life to interrupt his football Sundays.

Other times you do NOT want to approach your target:

  1. He seems as if he’s in a rush
  2. He’s talking on the phone
  3. While he’s doing something weird that he wouldn’t want others to catch him doing (picking his nose, adjusting himself)
  4. He’s making a beeline for the bathroom
  5. He’s on his way out
  6. He’s listening to music with his headphones on
  7. He’s reading a book

The RIGHT time to approach your target:

  1. Conversation dies down (if your target is with a group)
  2. He’s all settled down, enjoying his coffee at the cafe
  3. He’s just sort of hanging out, twiddling his thumbs
  4. He’s fidgeting with his phone, not doing much with it
  5. He’s standing in line for something
  6. He’s waiting for something – a flight at the airport or the bus at the bus stop

Step Four: The Approach

Here’s the fun part! Now that the timing’s right, what are you waiting for? Go for it!

The first thing you want to do is place yourself near him as for how you mapped it out in STEP TWO. But you do not initiate a conversation right away. You do your thing – mind your own business – long enough for your target to assume that you’re only around him for your own purposes. This will disarm his defenses: “Oh okay, false alarm. She’s not here to bug me.”

Keep to yourself: Order a drink for yourself at the bar as you sit next to him on the stool, text someone as you sit beside him on the park bench, pretend you’re having trouble deciding on dessert like he is.

Now on a recent trip to Turks and Caicos, I scored a super sexy island man (OMG so hot!) I followed all the previous steps: I surveyed the area, found out he was alone with his sexy self and saw that he was sitting at the slot machines.

Are You All In?

There’s an empty seat! It’s all or nothing, baby. I sat right next to him.

Take a risk and have a seat sis!

I fumbled around with the slot machines and pretended to have trouble using it all while keeping to myself. And that brings me to the next step – strike up a conversation that taps into men’s “HERO instinct.”

Step Four: Strike Up a Convo That Makes Him Feel Like Superman

Deep down inside, men want to fly around with capes and save the world. So if there’s any way that you can tap into that “hero instinct,” even if it gives him a lightning-fast feeling of being heroic, you’ll stimulate a spark of attraction within him.

So after fumbling around with the slot machine for a minute or two, I said, “Um, do you know how to use this thing? Help!” I lightly kicked the machine in a cute, joking way.

I got a question

And there he goes, going out of his way to help me use the slot machine. I could just see it in his eyes that, deep down inside, he’s puffing his chest up and revealing an “S” on his chest.

You can use the same tactic, for example, if you’re beside him trying to figure out which dessert to eat with your coffee: “Oh man! This is so stressful! I don’t know if I should get the blueberry muffin or the apple pie. What do you think?”

Most men would love to swoop in, save you the trouble, and help you choose your dessert. Or if you’re sitting at the bar, you should ask, “I want to try something different. I’m such a bore and I always get rum and coke. Tell me what’s your usual and I’ll just get that.”

Remember ladies – hero instinct!

Step Five: Allow the Target to Become the Hunter.

At this point, it’s time to hand the reigns over to the man and allow him to take the lead. You approached him, you broke the ice, and now you’re just going with the flow.

If he’s interested in you, you will see that he’ll try his best to upkeep the conversation – even if he isn’t the best conversationalist.

With my island guy, after he “saved me” at the slot machine, our conversation morphed into a deeper discussion – what he’s looking for in a woman, why he’s cheated in the past, and why he’s single. I could tell he was interested because he showed no signs of wanting to end the conversation. He was engrossed.

Once your target is engrossed in the conversation, he has become the hunter. Men love it when women approach them because it allows them to know, “Okay, this girl is interested. There’s no chance of rejection at this point.”

But they also want to feel as if they made a move towards you, let ‘em have that moment!

Step Six: The Big Finish!

By step five, if the conversation is winding down and your target still has not asked you for your number or social media page, it’s time to take charge again – but ever so subtlety.

You should say, “We should keep in touch.” Here you can offer to swap whatever contact information floats your boat – your Instagram, Facebook, phone number, etc.

Success! You got the digits, secure your bae!

And that, my friends, is the art of approaching a man! Now if you want to learn how to keep one, you’re on your own because I’m still trying to figure that one out for myself.

Toodles!

Kimberly Gedeon is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online including platforms like BuzzFeed and MadameNoire. You can DM her on Instagram at Kimmiexsweetie and she’ll happily respond. She doesn’t bite!

I Quit My Job! It’s Over, It’s Canceled! Let’s Move On!

I started my job last year, April 4, 2016. Just last week, shy of one day marking my year anniversary, I put in my resignation notice.  My last day would be Friday, April 14. That day is today.

I don’t have a job offer waiting for me, I don’t have a plan (yet) necessarily, I may have some leads, but here’s what I do have: I have dreams, I have ambitions, and I deserve to be happy. I’m not worried. I’m relieved. Jeremiah 29:11.

I’m on my way to more Caucasian Opportunities sis, wbu?

I want Ambitious Girl World, to not only serve as an honest repository of my own personal self-discovery journey but I hope my stories inspire the ambitious girl inside of you too. One day, I’d like to offer a platform for other ambitious girls for resources and encouragements to live their best lives. I also have a dream career, I have a clear vision of where I see myself. But I’ll get into that later…here’s why I quit:

I knew I wanted to leave this job about 3 weeks in. YUP! I know what you’re thinking, wow! This girl is dramatic and entitled as fuck. BUT that’s not it Sis, there were so MANY RED FLAGS SCREAMING ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!!!!  For now, I’m going to spare you the details. What I am going to tell you is, I played myself by staying as long as I have. I should’ve trusted my instincts right off the bat and jumped ship a long time ago. About 3 weeks in, there was a situation where our company was audited and as a new employee, I spent the next two months (my first two months on the job!) committed to cleaning up someone else’s mess and consoling my erratic scattered-brained boss. She didn’t make my job any easier. She was a frantic stress ball of a mess, but she meant well. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning to an inevitable domino effect that would lead me down this exhausting treacherous path.

I know what you’re thinking now; if I was so unhappy, why didn’t I leave? Hear me out; really quick, I had interviews lined up, almost the very next day after catching my boss crying in my office, red in the face after the auditors finally left.  Business is business and I don’t owe anybody anything I thought. However, after a phone interview, I told myself, “No. Tieara, you’re an adult. You can’t jump ship this early on. Look at this as a challenge, look at this as a chance to develop and grow in a new way.” So I stayed. Challenge accepted.

One moment…

MY BREAKING POINT: About 4-5 months in, I found myself in the office working long shifts as a one-(Wo)man marketing team. In short, I had to be 4 different people, fulfill my daily duties, juggle the other manager’s job, my co-worker’s job as well as act on my boss’s behalf whenever she was out of the office. I did not receive a temporary promotion during this time. Eventually, I got a “Thank you for being awesome” gift bag full of treats and trinkets. *rolls eyes* To paint the picture refer to my previous post, Overworked and Underpaid, published in 2016.

I know what you’re thinking again, “Sis! You should’ve used this opportunity as a pivotal point to showcase your awesome abilities to be the ultimate girl boss and get the job done or better yet, move up into a higher position.”

Sure, but the thing is, I did everything in my power to carry out exactly everything I needed to do and more. I was EXCEEDING expectations and STRESSED TF OUT. It resulted in two months of being overworked, unpaid, high blood pressure and my nerves were shot. It shouldn’t be that serious but it’s like my workload was never-ending while I was still struggling to navigate through company procedures as a new employee. There were situations where I worked 10+ shifts with no water, not even a lunch break. During this time, I was passively interviewing here and there, and made it to the final round in an ideal role/company but wasn’t chosen in the end. All the while, I was trying to make my situation better. I would try to go to work happy, just to immediately be annoyed at my boss yelling my name down the hallway. I then became apprehensive to actually leave, in fear that I would land at another job I could potentially hate or worse. Are we supposed to hate our jobs? I can’t live like this…

I HIT A BRICK WALL 6 MONTHS IN: My manager who isn’t the most organized would leave everything until the last minute and frantically worry me practically to death to get a lot of the things turned in on time. I wasn’t ok with the amount of workload placed in addition to the daily microaggressions and casual racism I had to endure as the only black girl in the office at the brink of a Trump Tyranny. I felt invisible, like a working horse who somehow simultaneously was praised as the marketing rockstar of the office for just doing the bare minimum.

Eventually, I voiced my concerns to which fell on deaf ears. This company has a history of high turnover rates, so I suggest you use Glassdoor reviews and my story as your references when applying to future job opportunities. I was only an employee barely at my 6-month mark READY TO HIT THE DIP. It’s not to say the people I worked with, weren’t good people.

They were, the company was just way too traditional, conservative and embraced a dry by the book type of culture. It also made it “ok” to exhaust employees in all aspects by throwing a lot at them, all at once with barely any training while the higher ups didn’t do any of the real work. I wasn’t happy or inspired. Instead of thriving, I felt suffocated, I felt stuck, I felt depressed. It may be worth mentioning that the reason I took this job in the first place is because I wanted to explore marketing. I studied public relations in college and early on promised myself I would try public relations, communications, and marketing all before settling into my career by choosing an exact discipline. I knew I still needed to not only identify my strengths or weaknesses as a young professional, but I needed to discover my dislikes or likes first before committing to a company for longer than a year or two. It was easy to make lateral moves as often times these industries are departments under one big umbrella in-house. However, I’m sorry to say that any enthusiasm or desire to learn I had in the beginning, died out fast. My day-to-day at the office looked more like a glorified paper-pusher, a trained chimpanzee pushing around a bunch of paperwork. I barely did anything marketing related besides, implementing things I already knew how to do, like event planning or maintaining brand assets/collateral. Instead, when I wasn’t pushing around the paper, I was a chimp acting as an accountant of sorts.  I was bored out of my mind with this brainless monkey work, I didn’t go to school for this shit.

Soon, my big smile turned downward into a lifeless stale expression as I lost my appetite for work. I began coming to work late or taking my time doing one thing all day. I hope they fire me, I thought. As an Ambitious Girl, eager to learn, I wasn’t feeling inspired, I wasn’t creating, I wasn’t learning. I wasn’t growing or being coached, I had  NO desire to grow within this company.

Everyone could tell I wasn’t happy but nobody cared enough to ask why. By the end of 2016, things were really really rough. I turned into a person who was outside of my character. I was always negative, always angry and always exhausted. It caused issues in my relationship. It caused issues with my performance, I was driving myself and everyone around me crazy by self-loathing and constantly complaining about how much I hated my job day in and day out.
I was sick, I was stressed out, I was tired. How did I let myself end up like this? No amount of coins is worth feeling this shitty.  

FINALLY, my mind was made up. I can’t do this anymore. I knew I didn’t want to stay with this company and it was time to indeed, abort the mission.

After the holidays I somehow managed to make it out of 2016 with my job still intact even though, I stopped trying and I stopped caring way before then. My personal life was collapsing and only furthering my stress, suffocating me, as my mom was hospitalized and my boyfriend broke up with me at the SAME DAMN TIME. I didn’t give a FUCK about anything anymore…why won’t they fire meand then, SHIT GOT REAL. 

To make a long story really short, I had to move due to unforeseen circumstances. My life became a modern day series of misfortunate events. Again, I’m sparing so many of the details. It was like all of a sudden the universe and God made me EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. I physically had to move out of my living situation with nowhere to go, on top of being broken hearted, worrying about my mom and hating my job. With the new year, I had big plans for 2017 and a plethora of self-care & career goals. Instead, I had to figure out my next move and how I was going to survive. God literally pulled the rug from beneath me.

I’ve been living out of a suitcase and staying at a friend’s house for the last month and a half now. It’s no secret that Silicon Valley is an expensive place to live. I became even more exhausted, not understanding why any of this was happening to me. If I was going to be homeless, I could at least find a better job, but my self-sabotaging ways only deferred any potential opportunities I may have had. I couldn’t start a new job anyways when my life was literally in shambles. My mental health, security, and stability took priority by this point.

I’m out!

So I decided to quit my job. Why continue to fight for survival in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. just to go to a job I hate every day? It’s my life, who said I had to be comfortable being miserable anyways?

But, who really said I had to fit into a box of undeserving mediocrity? who said that?

I couldn’t get comfortable, I don’t want to be comfortable. The coins aren’t worth being miserable sis. The way I see it, I gave this job a fair shot. I wanted to leave a long time ago, but I stayed and tried to have an open mind. To be honest, I feel like I just wasted away, like I only handicapped myself by wasting a year not doing what I really wanted to do with my life. What I will say is this, hating my job forced me to seek passions outside my 9-5. I pitched myself to some online pubs and start contributing, I learned that writing is a true passion of mine and that my ideal working environment is to create and cultivate.

 

Me leaving the office on my last day.

So, I quit. I decided to choose my livelihood, wellness, and happiness. These were more important than being miserable every day. ON ANOTHER NOTE: Ever since I graduated in 2014 I have been talking about moving to New York. I know it will make or break me, but I owe it to myself to try! When I moved to San Jose, I had a list of goals, which I exceeded. I have developed into a well-round experienced young professional with a competitive edge living here. Now, It’s time for a new chapter. So, what’s next?

Time to move on!

I’m packing up my one suitcase, toiletries and moving back in with my mom. I’m doing this so I can save money, work multiple jobs, pay off debt and stack my coins for a year before I begin my journey to New York. My parents are retired military, so moving home isn’t going to be a luxurious staycation by any means. I’ll be expected to work and contribute to the household, which I’m completely O.K. with doing. I would rather, help my mom out if I can, continue writing, continue growing my blog, continue chasing my dreams, REDISCOVERING MYSELF AND HAPPINESS than wasting away every day stuck inside an office with no windows and harsh fluorescent lights wondering if it will ever happen for me. I have been in constant grind mode since I moved to San Jose in 2012, I even worked or interned here through every summer break, I landed a job before graduating, the world was my oyster. Now, it’s time for a drastic change.

Right now, I’m actively looking for a job even though I’d rather spend my time writing. However, I’m tired of just dreaming of New York. I’ve recently purchased a ticket to go visit. It’ll be my first time in the big apple and I’m flying solo. I already know I’ll fall madly in love with the concrete jungle and not want to leave. I’m tired of only talking about my dreams, instead of living them. I’m tired of blocking my blessings, it’s the universe’s will things happened as they did. I’m on a new mission, a mission of self-exploration and self-discovery. Can I end up being that sun-kissed girl with a huge curly ‘fro, bright-eyed and wide smile walking the Brooklyn streets with her two french bulldogs, Lola & Lou? I can and I will.

In the meantime, I’m spending my time contributing, reading more books and taking Udemy & General Assembly classes. One book I’m reading now is by Reid Hoffman,  The Start-up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career I want to leave you with this quote: “We’re all works in progress. Each day presents an opportunity to learn more, do more, be more, grow more in our lives and careers…Get busy livin’, or get busy dying’. If you’re not growing, you’re contracting. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.”

 

One thing this job did was inspire me to seek out my passions and write more, which is why I actively contribute to publications today. Ultimately, I turned a negative into a positive and used my hardships as motivation. Do you guys ever feel like finding the right career and finding the right tinderoni are one in the same? You’re not alone. Hear my thoughts on 6 Things That Make Dating As Exhausting As Finding A Job via Elite Daily.

Why Being Miserable is Being Comfortable, SO CUT IT OUT!

*warning mini rant*
PLEASE, stop being comfortable being miserable! STOP IT! YOU NEED TO CUT IT! Here’s exactly why you deserve to go for it and NOT SETTLE:

Why are you playing yourself?

People like to complain and will remain stuck in a constant loop of uncelebrated mediocrity and misery. You know they say misery loves company sis.
Some people are pessimistic.
Some people don’t like change.
Some people don’t want to take action.
Some people don’t want to go for it.
Some people don’t think they can.
Some people aren’t ready for their blessings.
These same some people will also bring you down with them, and minimize your greatness in comparison to their plainness. You’re “supposed” to be unhappy..you’re supposed to  “hate” your job, they’ll feed you these lies…

So they block. They complain. They stay in their lane. Comfortable AF. But why should you?

I think as a generation who seeks “instant gratification” we legitimately have a hard time with the concept of time itself. We give up far too early when there’s a solid three-quarter left in the game, called life.  We are we SO quick to throw in the towel way too soon…?! Let’s make a commitment, hold each other accountable and devote our TiME to building ourselves into what we’re already destined to become. We might feel entitled, we may believe that the bare minimum will suffice but guess what…it won’t. Don’t get TOO caught up and expect things to be EASY! You know that anything worth having isn’t easy at all, and even if it is easy, do you actually want it? Probably not.

To be honest, I have this friend who has been fed up with his situation FOR as long as I’ve known him. I’m not sure what it will take for him to feel happy, but on the outside looking in, it saddens me because I know he’s capable of so much more! You owe it to yourself to live up to your ultimate potential and more.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, DUST YOURSELF OFF AND TRY AGAIN, SIS!

But here’s the catch, You have to apply yourself. You’ll have to actually WORK HARD and TRY HARDER to succeed.

If you don’t like your job, quit and get a new one or don’t and go work for yourself. If you don’t like where you live, then move out of state or go find a better living situation to make you feel more at home.

If you don’t have a support system, guess what? BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN AND LEARN THAT THE UNIVERSE WILL CONSPIRE TO HELP YOU ATTAIN YOUR HIGHEST ACHEIVEABLE AND GREATEST GOOD. LET IT ALIGN FOR YOU. TALK TO GOD. PRAY ABOUT IT AND BE ABOUT IT. BUT IM HEAR ON TELL YOU, God is only going to help those who help themselves. Oftentimes, we get caught up, we want it to be easy, we expect things to work in our favor  without taking any real chances or risk. It doesn’t always work like that. BET ON YOURSELF!

If you’ve been following me for a few days or a few years or whatever, you know I’m the first person to give you the trill-spill and let you know the deal! YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT. YOU REALLY DO! Sometimes, we have to do certain things we don’t want to, to get to where we want to be…it’s not easy, it may even be easier said than done, but if you have the drive and the spirit to go for it, THEN GO! 

I can promise you the pay off is always greater if not BETTER than what you expected. It’s called sacrifices and temporary drastic ass changes to get the results you want! All I know is I got tired of blocking my blessings, and I’m on my way to them now.

Beyonce still had the greatest album of all time. FYI.

Becoming Teyoncé: What Queen Bey Has Taught Me Thus Far

Look familiar? I am Young Teyoncé, bish.

 

When Beyoncé dropped her visual album in December 2013, unbeknownst to the public (until we all figured it out of course) She was revamping herself, embracing her womanhood, newfound motherhood, and embodying pure sexiness by showcasing her inner “Sasha Fierce” (yup, didn’t forget about that.)

With that said, three years later, Beyoncé is ready to go on another tour and will slay across the nation! YASSSSSSAHHH SLAY ALL DAY!

Wake, Slay, Pray, All Hail Queen Bey.

ANYWAYS…Here’s what Beyoncé has taught me as a valuable lesson in self-respect, self-branding and overall, self-improvement as she continues to show me the way to effortlessly slay every day.

1. Be unapologetically you!
Beyoncé made a controversial statement when she performed at Super Bowl 50 with all-black backup dancers in what seemed to be Black Panther attire. As a black girl, I think Beyoncé was simply letting us know that black girls rock and that we’re not just black… but we’re proud and content in the skin we’re in and UNAPOLOGETIC about it. Before gracing us with her presence during the halftime show the night before, Beyoncé dropped her video to Formatiosuperbowlbeyn.

This video was a great homage to her Creole roots and Huston upbringing with Bounce music beats, equipped with gripping imagery and visuals that portray life as a black woman in America. As she made waves across news stations, Beyoncé didn’t say sh*t but sit pretty and attend the Warriors game, perform at the Super Bowl and continue to be unbothered and unapologetic. Beyoncé shows us that it’s OK to be who you are and express yourself and to always respect yourself first. More importantly, not feeling the need to explain yourself. #Noted

2. It’s OK to revamp/re-invent yourself.
As my friends know, I have an alter ego by the name of, “Teyoncé” when I’m feeling fierce and “Toprah” when I’m feeling wise…(Beyoncé -B +T =Teyoncé) and (T+ Oprah = Toprah) So, let’s not forget when Beyoncé parted ways from the girl group, Destiny’s Child to launching her own solo career as Sasha Fierce, to now Queen Bey, Mrs. Carter & now Yoncé. Reinventing yourself is OK too, and often times necessary. Like, after a sudden break up; why not treat yo’ self to a new wig and pedicure if you feel like it? This is also a lesson in personal brand development, as refreshing your brand to stay current is necessary but staying true to your core is how you keep your audiences entertained, engaged and more importantly, by staying RELATABLE. Beyoncé never disappoints and continues to surprise us all.

yonce

*I’d like to point out that I grew up with Beyoncé and can relate to her as a young girl who is now a grown woman.*

3. Consistency is KEY. A MAJOR KEY!
One thing Beyoncé does right is, SHE DELIVERS. Her latest self-titled album, Beyoncé was so unexpected, her Super Bowl performance was unexpected! Announcing her tour this summer was…UNEXPECTED! Beyoncé continues to NOT disappoint. After all, the talent is there as well, she’s a true artist, icon, and queen in every right. I think the best way to manage your reputation is by being yourself 100% of the time and staying consistent, in school, work or life. SO BE YOU. Don’t worry about disappointing anybody but yourself and live up to your own standards, not society. Authenticity is key. As fans, we know what to expect or sometimes we don’t but what’s great is that we’ve learned by watching Beyoncé to never over promise and under deliver but to always expect the unexpected and remain true to ourselves as we maneuver through life.

4. ANOTHER DAY. ANOTHER SLAY.
Sometimes life isn’t easy, whether you’re struggling to make it work on time or graduate from school, just remember, to seize the day, and to slay every day! Wake. Pray. Slay.beyslays

#InThatOrder As Beyoncé says in her song Formation:

I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it

I twirl on them haters, albino alligators

El Camino with the seat low, sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser

Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)

Get what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)

Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)

All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)

Once again, Beyoncé reminds me to keep my head up, and slay that group project.

5.Be Flawless.
Lastly, remain flawless at all times. To me, being flawless means not hiding who you are but also self-acceptance ladies! Even in your Flaws & AllOWN IT. As women, we all have different shapes and sizes, and that’s what makes us different. Beyoncé is full of confidence as she should be, but she isn’t arrogant about, and neither should you be. She has self-respect and although her newest CD was up for debate for “being overly sexual” and her Super Bowl performance was criticized, she is a role model and commendable by being a successful black woman, mother, and wife FIRST. As long as we continue to work on improving and becoming better people, at the end of the day, we all have flaws, even Queen Bey!

flawless

What’s your favorite thing about Queen Bey?