I Quit My Job! It’s Over, It’s Canceled! Let’s Move On!

I started my job last year, April 4, 2016. Just last week, shy of one day marking my year anniversary, I put in my resignation notice.  My last day would be Friday, April 14. That day is today.

I don’t have a job offer waiting for me, I don’t have a plan (yet) necessarily, I may have some leads, but here’s what I do have: I have dreams, I have ambitions, and I deserve to be happy. I’m not worried. I’m relieved. Jeremiah 29:11.

I’m on my way to more Caucasian Opportunities sis, wbu?

I want Ambitious Girl World, to not only serve as an honest repository of my own personal self-discovery journey but I hope my stories inspire the ambitious girl inside of you too. One day, I’d like to offer a platform for other ambitious girls for resources and encouragements to live their best lives. I also have a dream career, I have a clear vision of where I see myself. But I’ll get into that later…here’s why I quit:

I knew I wanted to leave this job about 3 weeks in. YUP! I know what you’re thinking, wow! This girl is dramatic and entitled as fuck. BUT that’s not it Sis, there were so MANY RED FLAGS SCREAMING ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!!!!  For now, I’m going to spare you the details. What I am going to tell you is, I played myself by staying as long as I have. I should’ve trusted my instincts right off the bat and jumped ship a long time ago. About 3 weeks in, there was a situation where our company was audited and as a new employee, I spent the next two months (my first two months on the job!) committed to cleaning up someone else’s mess and consoling my erratic scattered-brained boss. She didn’t make my job any easier. She was a frantic stress ball of a mess, but she meant well. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning to an inevitable domino effect that would lead me down this exhausting treacherous path.

I know what you’re thinking now; if I was so unhappy, why didn’t I leave? Hear me out; really quick, I had interviews lined up, almost the very next day after catching my boss crying in my office, red in the face after the auditors finally left.  Business is business and I don’t owe anybody anything I thought. However, after a phone interview, I told myself, “No. Tieara, you’re an adult. You can’t jump ship this early on. Look at this as a challenge, look at this as a chance to develop and grow in a new way.” So I stayed. Challenge accepted.

One moment…

MY BREAKING POINT: About 4-5 months in, I found myself in the office working long shifts as a one-(Wo)man marketing team. In short, I had to be 4 different people, fulfill my daily duties, juggle the other manager’s job, my co-worker’s job as well as act on my boss’s behalf whenever she was out of the office. I did not receive a temporary promotion during this time. Eventually, I got a “Thank you for being awesome” gift bag full of treats and trinkets. *rolls eyes* To paint the picture refer to my previous post, Overworked and Underpaid, published in 2016.

I know what you’re thinking again, “Sis! You should’ve used this opportunity as a pivotal point to showcase your awesome abilities to be the ultimate girl boss and get the job done or better yet, move up into a higher position.”

Sure, but the thing is, I did everything in my power to carry out exactly everything I needed to do and more. I was EXCEEDING expectations and STRESSED TF OUT. It resulted in two months of being overworked, unpaid, high blood pressure and my nerves were shot. It shouldn’t be that serious but it’s like my workload was never-ending while I was still struggling to navigate through company procedures as a new employee. There were situations where I worked 10+ shifts with no water, not even a lunch break. During this time, I was passively interviewing here and there, and made it to the final round in an ideal role/company but wasn’t chosen in the end. All the while, I was trying to make my situation better. I would try to go to work happy, just to immediately be annoyed at my boss yelling my name down the hallway. I then became apprehensive to actually leave, in fear that I would land at another job I could potentially hate or worse. Are we supposed to hate our jobs? I can’t live like this…

I HIT A BRICK WALL 6 MONTHS IN: My manager who isn’t the most organized would leave everything until the last minute and frantically worry me practically to death to get a lot of the things turned in on time. I wasn’t ok with the amount of workload placed in addition to the daily microaggressions and casual racism I had to endure as the only black girl in the office at the brink of a Trump Tyranny. I felt invisible, like a working horse who somehow simultaneously was praised as the marketing rockstar of the office for just doing the bare minimum.

Eventually, I voiced my concerns to which fell on deaf ears. This company has a history of high turnover rates, so I suggest you use Glassdoor reviews and my story as your references when applying to future job opportunities. I was only an employee barely at my 6-month mark READY TO HIT THE DIP. It’s not to say the people I worked with, weren’t good people.

They were, the company was just way too traditional, conservative and embraced a dry by the book type of culture. It also made it “ok” to exhaust employees in all aspects by throwing a lot at them, all at once with barely any training while the higher ups didn’t do any of the real work. I wasn’t happy or inspired. Instead of thriving, I felt suffocated, I felt stuck, I felt depressed. It may be worth mentioning that the reason I took this job in the first place is because I wanted to explore marketing. I studied public relations in college and early on promised myself I would try public relations, communications, and marketing all before settling into my career by choosing an exact discipline. I knew I still needed to not only identify my strengths or weaknesses as a young professional, but I needed to discover my dislikes or likes first before committing to a company for longer than a year or two. It was easy to make lateral moves as often times these industries are departments under one big umbrella in-house. However, I’m sorry to say that any enthusiasm or desire to learn I had in the beginning, died out fast. My day-to-day at the office looked more like a glorified paper-pusher, a trained chimpanzee pushing around a bunch of paperwork. I barely did anything marketing related besides, implementing things I already knew how to do, like event planning or maintaining brand assets/collateral. Instead, when I wasn’t pushing around the paper, I was a chimp acting as an accountant of sorts.  I was bored out of my mind with this brainless monkey work, I didn’t go to school for this shit.

Soon, my big smile turned downward into a lifeless stale expression as I lost my appetite for work. I began coming to work late or taking my time doing one thing all day. I hope they fire me, I thought. As an Ambitious Girl, eager to learn, I wasn’t feeling inspired, I wasn’t creating, I wasn’t learning. I wasn’t growing or being coached, I had  NO desire to grow within this company.

Everyone could tell I wasn’t happy but nobody cared enough to ask why. By the end of 2016, things were really really rough. I turned into a person who was outside of my character. I was always negative, always angry and always exhausted. It caused issues in my relationship. It caused issues with my performance, I was driving myself and everyone around me crazy by self-loathing and constantly complaining about how much I hated my job day in and day out.
I was sick, I was stressed out, I was tired. How did I let myself end up like this? No amount of coins is worth feeling this shitty.  

FINALLY, my mind was made up. I can’t do this anymore. I knew I didn’t want to stay with this company and it was time to indeed, abort the mission.

After the holidays I somehow managed to make it out of 2016 with my job still intact even though, I stopped trying and I stopped caring way before then. My personal life was collapsing and only furthering my stress, suffocating me, as my mom was hospitalized and my boyfriend broke up with me at the SAME DAMN TIME. I didn’t give a FUCK about anything anymore…why won’t they fire meand then, SHIT GOT REAL. 

To make a long story really short, I had to move due to unforeseen circumstances. My life became a modern day series of misfortunate events. Again, I’m sparing so many of the details. It was like all of a sudden the universe and God made me EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. I physically had to move out of my living situation with nowhere to go, on top of being broken hearted, worrying about my mom and hating my job. With the new year, I had big plans for 2017 and a plethora of self-care & career goals. Instead, I had to figure out my next move and how I was going to survive. God literally pulled the rug from beneath me.

I’ve been living out of a suitcase and staying at a friend’s house for the last month and a half now. It’s no secret that Silicon Valley is an expensive place to live. I became even more exhausted, not understanding why any of this was happening to me. If I was going to be homeless, I could at least find a better job, but my self-sabotaging ways only deferred any potential opportunities I may have had. I couldn’t start a new job anyways when my life was literally in shambles. My mental health, security, and stability took priority by this point.

I’m out!

So I decided to quit my job. Why continue to fight for survival in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. just to go to a job I hate every day? It’s my life, who said I had to be comfortable being miserable anyways?

But, who really said I had to fit into a box of undeserving mediocrity? who said that?

I couldn’t get comfortable, I don’t want to be comfortable. The coins aren’t worth being miserable sis. The way I see it, I gave this job a fair shot. I wanted to leave a long time ago, but I stayed and tried to have an open mind. To be honest, I feel like I just wasted away, like I only handicapped myself by wasting a year not doing what I really wanted to do with my life. What I will say is this, hating my job forced me to seek passions outside my 9-5. I pitched myself to some online pubs and start contributing, I learned that writing is a true passion of mine and that my ideal working environment is to create and cultivate.

 

Me leaving the office on my last day.

So, I quit. I decided to choose my livelihood, wellness, and happiness. These were more important than being miserable every day. ON ANOTHER NOTE: Ever since I graduated in 2014 I have been talking about moving to New York. I know it will make or break me, but I owe it to myself to try! When I moved to San Jose, I had a list of goals, which I exceeded. I have developed into a well-round experienced young professional with a competitive edge living here. Now, It’s time for a new chapter. So, what’s next?

Time to move on!

I’m packing up my one suitcase, toiletries and moving back in with my mom. I’m doing this so I can save money, work multiple jobs, pay off debt and stack my coins for a year before I begin my journey to New York. My parents are retired military, so moving home isn’t going to be a luxurious staycation by any means. I’ll be expected to work and contribute to the household, which I’m completely O.K. with doing. I would rather, help my mom out if I can, continue writing, continue growing my blog, continue chasing my dreams, REDISCOVERING MYSELF AND HAPPINESS than wasting away every day stuck inside an office with no windows and harsh fluorescent lights wondering if it will ever happen for me. I have been in constant grind mode since I moved to San Jose in 2012, I even worked or interned here through every summer break, I landed a job before graduating, the world was my oyster. Now, it’s time for a drastic change.

Right now, I’m actively looking for a job even though I’d rather spend my time writing. However, I’m tired of just dreaming of New York. I’ve recently purchased a ticket to go visit. It’ll be my first time in the big apple and I’m flying solo. I already know I’ll fall madly in love with the concrete jungle and not want to leave. I’m tired of only talking about my dreams, instead of living them. I’m tired of blocking my blessings, it’s the universe’s will things happened as they did. I’m on a new mission, a mission of self-exploration and self-discovery. Can I end up being that sun-kissed girl with a huge curly ‘fro, bright-eyed and wide smile walking the Brooklyn streets with her two french bulldogs, Lola & Lou? I can and I will.

In the meantime, I’m spending my time contributing, reading more books and taking Udemy & General Assembly classes. One book I’m reading now is by Reid Hoffman,  The Start-up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career I want to leave you with this quote: “We’re all works in progress. Each day presents an opportunity to learn more, do more, be more, grow more in our lives and careers…Get busy livin’, or get busy dying’. If you’re not growing, you’re contracting. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.”

 

One thing this job did was inspire me to seek out my passions and write more, which is why I actively contribute to publications today. Ultimately, I turned a negative into a positive and used my hardships as motivation. Do you guys ever feel like finding the right career and finding the right tinderoni are one in the same? You’re not alone. Hear my thoughts on 6 Things That Make Dating As Exhausting As Finding A Job via Elite Daily.

Why Being Miserable is Being Comfortable, SO CUT IT OUT!

*warning mini rant*
PLEASE, stop being comfortable being miserable! STOP IT! YOU NEED TO CUT IT! Here’s exactly why you deserve to go for it and NOT SETTLE:

Why are you playing yourself?

People like to complain and will remain stuck in a constant loop of uncelebrated mediocrity and misery. You know they say misery loves company sis.
Some people are pessimistic.
Some people don’t like change.
Some people don’t want to take action.
Some people don’t want to go for it.
Some people don’t think they can.
Some people aren’t ready for their blessings.
These same some people will also bring you down with them, and minimize your greatness in comparison to their plainness. You’re “supposed” to be unhappy..you’re supposed to  “hate” your job, they’ll feed you these lies…

So they block. They complain. They stay in their lane. Comfortable AF. But why should you?

I think as a generation who seeks “instant gratification” we legitimately have a hard time with the concept of time itself. We give up far too early when there’s a solid three-quarter left in the game, called life.  We are we SO quick to throw in the towel way too soon…?! Let’s make a commitment, hold each other accountable and devote our TiME to building ourselves into what we’re already destined to become. We might feel entitled, we may believe that the bare minimum will suffice but guess what…it won’t. Don’t get TOO caught up and expect things to be EASY! You know that anything worth having isn’t easy at all, and even if it is easy, do you actually want it? Probably not.

To be honest, I have this friend who has been fed up with his situation FOR as long as I’ve known him. I’m not sure what it will take for him to feel happy, but on the outside looking in, it saddens me because I know he’s capable of so much more! You owe it to yourself to live up to your ultimate potential and more.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, DUST YOURSELF OFF AND TRY AGAIN, SIS!

But here’s the catch, You have to apply yourself. You’ll have to actually WORK HARD and TRY HARDER to succeed.

If you don’t like your job, quit and get a new one or don’t and go work for yourself. If you don’t like where you live, then move out of state or go find a better living situation to make you feel more at home.

If you don’t have a support system, guess what? BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN AND LEARN THAT THE UNIVERSE WILL CONSPIRE TO HELP YOU ATTAIN YOUR HIGHEST ACHEIVEABLE AND GREATEST GOOD. LET IT ALIGN FOR YOU. TALK TO GOD. PRAY ABOUT IT AND BE ABOUT IT. BUT IM HEAR ON TELL YOU, God is only going to help those who help themselves. Oftentimes, we get caught up, we want it to be easy, we expect things to work in our favor  without taking any real chances or risk. It doesn’t always work like that. BET ON YOURSELF!

If you’ve been following me for a few days or a few years or whatever, you know I’m the first person to give you the trill-spill and let you know the deal! YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT. YOU REALLY DO! Sometimes, we have to do certain things we don’t want to, to get to where we want to be…it’s not easy, it may even be easier said than done, but if you have the drive and the spirit to go for it, THEN GO! 

I can promise you the pay off is always greater if not BETTER than what you expected. It’s called sacrifices and temporary drastic ass changes to get the results you want! All I know is I got tired of blocking my blessings, and I’m on my way to them now.

Beyonce still had the greatest album of all time. FYI.

Becoming Teyoncé: What Queen Bey Has Taught Me Thus Far

Look familiar? I am Young Teyoncé, bish.

 

When Beyoncé dropped her visual album in December 2013, unbeknownst to the public (until we all figured it out of course) She was revamping herself, embracing her womanhood, newfound motherhood, and embodying pure sexiness by showcasing her inner “Sasha Fierce” (yup, didn’t forget about that.)

With that said, three years later, Beyoncé is ready to go on another tour and will slay across the nation! YASSSSSSAHHH SLAY ALL DAY!

Wake, Slay, Pray, All Hail Queen Bey.

ANYWAYS…Here’s what Beyoncé has taught me as a valuable lesson in self-respect, self-branding and overall, self-improvement as she continues to show me the way to effortlessly slay every day.

1. Be unapologetically you!
Beyoncé made a controversial statement when she performed at Super Bowl 50 with all-black backup dancers in what seemed to be Black Panther attire. As a black girl, I think Beyoncé was simply letting us know that black girls rock and that we’re not just black… but we’re proud and content in the skin we’re in and UNAPOLOGETIC about it. Before gracing us with her presence during the halftime show the night before, Beyoncé dropped her video to Formatiosuperbowlbeyn.

This video was a great homage to her Creole roots and Huston upbringing with Bounce music beats, equipped with gripping imagery and visuals that portray life as a black woman in America. As she made waves across news stations, Beyoncé didn’t say sh*t but sit pretty and attend the Warriors game, perform at the Super Bowl and continue to be unbothered and unapologetic. Beyoncé shows us that it’s OK to be who you are and express yourself and to always respect yourself first. More importantly, not feeling the need to explain yourself. #Noted

2. It’s OK to revamp/re-invent yourself.
As my friends know, I have an alter ego by the name of, “Teyoncé” when I’m feeling fierce and “Toprah” when I’m feeling wise…(Beyoncé -B +T =Teyoncé) and (T+ Oprah = Toprah) So, let’s not forget when Beyoncé parted ways from the girl group, Destiny’s Child to launching her own solo career as Sasha Fierce, to now Queen Bey, Mrs. Carter & now Yoncé. Reinventing yourself is OK too, and often times necessary. Like, after a sudden break up; why not treat yo’ self to a new wig and pedicure if you feel like it? This is also a lesson in personal brand development, as refreshing your brand to stay current is necessary but staying true to your core is how you keep your audiences entertained, engaged and more importantly, by staying RELATABLE. Beyoncé never disappoints and continues to surprise us all.

yonce

*I’d like to point out that I grew up with Beyoncé and can relate to her as a young girl who is now a grown woman.*

3. Consistency is KEY. A MAJOR KEY!
One thing Beyoncé does right is, SHE DELIVERS. Her latest self-titled album, Beyoncé was so unexpected, her Super Bowl performance was unexpected! Announcing her tour this summer was…UNEXPECTED! Beyoncé continues to NOT disappoint. After all, the talent is there as well, she’s a true artist, icon, and queen in every right. I think the best way to manage your reputation is by being yourself 100% of the time and staying consistent, in school, work or life. SO BE YOU. Don’t worry about disappointing anybody but yourself and live up to your own standards, not society. Authenticity is key. As fans, we know what to expect or sometimes we don’t but what’s great is that we’ve learned by watching Beyoncé to never over promise and under deliver but to always expect the unexpected and remain true to ourselves as we maneuver through life.

4. ANOTHER DAY. ANOTHER SLAY.
Sometimes life isn’t easy, whether you’re struggling to make it work on time or graduate from school, just remember, to seize the day, and to slay every day! Wake. Pray. Slay.beyslays

#InThatOrder As Beyoncé says in her song Formation:

I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it

I twirl on them haters, albino alligators

El Camino with the seat low, sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser

Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)

Get what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)

Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)

All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)

Once again, Beyoncé reminds me to keep my head up, and slay that group project.

5.Be Flawless.
Lastly, remain flawless at all times. To me, being flawless means not hiding who you are but also self-acceptance ladies! Even in your Flaws & AllOWN IT. As women, we all have different shapes and sizes, and that’s what makes us different. Beyoncé is full of confidence as she should be, but she isn’t arrogant about, and neither should you be. She has self-respect and although her newest CD was up for debate for “being overly sexual” and her Super Bowl performance was criticized, she is a role model and commendable by being a successful black woman, mother, and wife FIRST. As long as we continue to work on improving and becoming better people, at the end of the day, we all have flaws, even Queen Bey!

flawless

What’s your favorite thing about Queen Bey?

Strong is Beautiful: Why Vulnerability is Strength

This should perhaps be a journal entry…

I’ve never been the type to ask for help. I honestly hate asking for help or needing anyone’s help for that matter. You can call me prideful if you’d like, but I hate giving people the power to throw their support back in my face. Although I don’t ask for help much, when I do, it’s because I need it. We all need help sometimes right?

Black Girl Magic

Well, I was raised to grow into a self-sufficient, independent strong black woman. This is exactly why I struggle with asking for help because I’m not supposed to need it or allow myself to feel like a victim. I’ve also learned that I am not alone in my feelings. Through life’s trials and tribulations, I’ve grasped that self-loathing is the ultimate sin and nobody likes a Debbie downer. I suspect that oftentimes we confuse strength with bitterness and mask our inherent need for others love and empathy indirectly isolating ourselves or pretending as if we’re okay when we’re not. I don’t have to be a bitter or angry black woman to be a strong independent one. I am allowed to ask for help when I need it, it doesn’t make me any less strong of a person if I cry for help. It makes me human, vulnerable and worthy to receive blessings. This goes for all of us.

How many times have your parents or your friends tried to sympathize with you at a moment of despair? In efforts to console you, they present similar scenarios, reassuring you that they too have gone through a struggle of some sort, rejection in the forms of a break-up, termination at a job, not closing a deal on their dream house, etc. further justifying that these extreme examples of hardship and misfortune are why they are the way they are today.

However, bitterness is a vicious cycle that keeps you trapped from living your best life. Being taught to be black and be bold, to be strong and be proud, to always fight for my rights and stand up for myself is a common ideology passed throughout the black community. We know what it’s like to struggle all too well. Our parents remind us of generations before us, such as our ancestors, or of their own personal struggles whenever trying to justify our daily battles. Subliminally teaching us that as long as you remain bitter, you can be angry and rightfully so. Life has dealt us a bad hand. Your anger can help you cope, you can remain strong that way and protect yourself at all times as a bitter angry black woman, they indirectly teach me.

Unfortunately, bitterness is just self-destructive and it definitely doesn’t set up anybody for success. Instead, vulnerability does. Mastering the art of vulnerability isn’t easy but it’s the best coping mechanism when approaching life’s combative defining moments.

image: PopSugar Snapchat, Mantra: Everything I Need is Within Me

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, allowing pain or chaos to define you, isn’t the proper way to survive. You don’t have to hold onto hurt to survive, you don’t have to hold onto hurt to thrive. You don’t have to remain bitter, hurt or angry about the misfortunate events that have occurred in your life.

One of my favorite heart healers, Rob Hill Sr. once said, Vulnerability is a strength, it takes courage to be seen as you are. The moment I heard these words, my heart mended itself back together again and the burden lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t have to create a hit list of the people who weren’t there for me when I needed them. I learned to let go. I turned my hurt into motivation to expose myself to a raw form by pushing myself out of my comfort zone and not caring about failure, rejection or “bad people.” Despite the moments when I felt lower than low, I picked myself up. More resilient than ever before. Check out: Rob Hill Sr’s A Letter To The Hearts Part 1.

I learned to truly wear my heart on my sleeve and expose the best parts of me to the world, trusting that no matter who I encounter or what crazy things happen, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, through the chaos lies success, you just have to keep going.

Sky’s the limit, stay up!

Why It Doesn’t Matter what Dating App You’re Using. It’s All About Timing

I’ve spent my fair share of time and energy on multiple dating apps, I mean who hasn’t right? My friends even considered me a “dating guru” as I was very active across a variety of apps such as Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Soulswipe and even the occasional “will you go out with me?” DM on twitter & IG. I thought I had this dating thing down to a science, especially after going on several dates with different suitors from each app.

Just keep swiping

Just keep swiping

There was even this awkward third date once where I ended up matching with my Tinder match after matching with him on Bumble and he didn’t even mention it to me until, our third date after he criticized me for my French fry table manners, (a different story for a different day). I believe dating is all about strategy, but more importantly ALL about timing.

Nonetheless, I can sit here today and say I’ve devoted about a solid year of my life to online dating and dating apps. To this day, I’m still about 7785 of 14943 on The League’s waitlist (seriously does anybody get in?) I’ve recently ended a yearlong relationship with someone I fell in love with on Tinder. The reason for the breakup? Timing. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t about what dating app you’re on or even sometimes who you’re actually dating, it’s simply all about timing.

  1. As cheesy as this may sound, timing LITERALLY is everything and you have to trust the timing of your life. What I mean by this is, if you’re struggling to make it through college, if you don’t know if you have enough money to pay rent this month or if you’re worried about finding a new job because you’ve just been laid off…I’d highly recommend pressing pause on your dating life. Dating someone means using more of your energy, time and mental capacity to not only be vulnerable but also make someone else feel safe in getting to know you. Not to mention spending more money on cute date nights or baecations. If you have all this nervous energy or added stress, it’s just not going to translate well to your potential suitor and all they’ll see is someone with TOO many issues or worse, baggage that they don’t want to deal with.
  2. Have you taken the time to Love yourself? This year it seems a lot of us are on our very own missions for self-love and this is definitely something I’m also exploring myself. I want to take out a few seconds to also clarify that “self-love” doesn’t just mean superficial things like getting your hair done or your nails did, or making sure your eyebrows are on fleek. Sure, when you look good, you feel good; but how many of us actually take out the TIME to work on ourselves internally? Have you taken the time to heal from past relationships or even childhood traumas? Playing the victim or self-proclaiming you have mommy or daddy issues doesn’t mean the problem goes away just by “owning it.” You have to take the time to do the work from within and heal yourself. Sometimes that means, journaling or reflecting on your past and being honest with yourself, as mental health is a big part of relationships. It might even be worth your time to talk to a professional, like a therapist. Regardless, If you’re not in the right headspace, then I’m sorry no matter how many dating apps you use, it’s just not going to work out and it’s not going to be the right time. It’s O.K. to be alone and be single because you’re taking the time to discover yourself and who you really are and what you want in life but also in an ideal partner.
  3. IT HAS TO BE THE RIGHT TIME FOR THE OTHER PERSON TOO! This part is crucial. Sometimes we move too fast, sometimes we don’t communicate the way we should and then sometimes we learn the hard way after falling head over heels for the right person at the wrong time. It honestly doesn’t matter where you met your match, a dating app or in real life. If they are not ready for a commitment they never will be AT THIS TIME. You can’t force or beg someone to commit or want to be with you if they feel other things in their life take priority at the moment. TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE. It’s important to have honest conversations from the beginning to build proper foundations when forming new relationships with other people. If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not to please the other person or if you can’t even genuinely focus on someone right now because you’re worried about graduating or launching your career, then don’t waste that person’s time!

Everyone is trying to figure it out just like you. You can’t expect someone to be with you if you don’t like yourself first. Take your time to explore what it means to love yourself and strive to work on you and your other aspects of life such as career, education other important relationships and friendships before jumping from relationship to relationship or swiping from app to app. Trust the timing of your life, learn from each experience and you never know what can happen!